addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Someone signed my nipple.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
