Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
