There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
