kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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