U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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