I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
