she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
