he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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