I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
