He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
