I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
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Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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