giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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