She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
