Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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