So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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