thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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