I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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