I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
