Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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