big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
