Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
