I feel like abortions should bother me more
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
3pm strippers are depressing
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
