I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
