Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
