Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I need moral support for this bender
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Randomize
