I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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