Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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