i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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