I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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