what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.