just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
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