omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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