Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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