Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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