Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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