I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
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