Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
