she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
