i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
