I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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