Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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