i wish starbucks made bloody marys
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
the liver wants what the liver wants
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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