it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
