I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
don't judge my taste in strippers
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
