I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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