Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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