"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
