dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.