i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
21 Embarrassing Stories From Adults Who’ve Crapped Their Pants
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?