i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
