Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
