I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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