So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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