Already got asked if we're dating
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
