things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize