dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
