No stitches, just platelets and will power
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
