We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
