dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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