I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I just googled if crying burns calories
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
