I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
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